feeling the end of semester grind

I think it has finally hit me that the semeter is quickly coming an end. I relized that today in class. UNfortunatily it came to me at a really bad time while i was in class. Which in turn made me antzy and irritated that I could be doing other things instead of trying to take notes and comprehend what was being talked about. To be frank I have no idea what went on because my mind was racing with the idea that I have my final exam on the slides from the past few chapters in art history to study and I had better do well other wise i am screwed if i don't and a paper to write and i am screwed if i dont get that done soon. So in turn I already had started to think of I should not have done this, I should have stayed up later intead of going to bed at 8:30 last night, I should have done this I should have done that. I should be able to do my days that I was doing last semester at this time from 5:30 till almost 2 the next day I should be able to do that no I just go home and sleep. I am such a lazy bum for doing so. Why did I do that. I should be able to stay up later than 11:30 but no since I have been having problems in that department I am lazy and go to bed around 9:30 almost everynight it sucks! It really does. I hate myself for it. In turn all my grades are suffering in my opinion. In turn my art is suffering. Therefore I feel like i am a failure at everything because I have been lazy and gone to bed early. My family has been telling me I cannot be like the enigizer bunny and go go go there are some point I need to crash and step away. That brings up another thing. I have been really frustrated trying to work on this paper trying to figure out an anti thesis and thesis to my anti thesis and I honestly can say I think I have missed the whole point or concept of the class or atleast it feels that way. I am sorry for this rant. but It has been brewing for several weeks eventhough I may seem fine outwardly inwardly i am not when it come to thinking about school and work right now.

ps. when i am done with studying and getting things written I will have a better blog entry than the past two this one and the last one. I want to say I am still thinking of things and I have finally have something but I need to finish drafting.